Posts for category ‘the diabetes’

So, in an indirect way, that last post was about limitations. We all have them. Recognizing them, for some of us (especially us perfectionists and achievers), is another story. And then, respecting them and submitting to them is the real challenge.

I haven’t updated you guys on my diabetes lately. I don’t like to be identified by that word – diabetic. It provokes assumptions that are usually wrong, it conjures up images that I don’t associate with  me and my life, and it sounds…limiting. Oh how we hate to be limited!

Anyway, I’ve struggled to keep control this year, though I have done everything I possibly can. Despite being right in the middle of “normal” BMI range, and taking excellent care of myself with diet and exercise and rest (most of the time, most of it, as much as I can as a human being), my numbers just haven’t done what they need to do for long-term health, what I thought I could make them do by being perfect. All of the time.

In recognition of my limitations and as part of my commitment to my health, I’ve taken some new steps. I got a new doctor whose communication style and approach to disease management is more like mine. We are doing a battery of new tests to try to figure out what’s going on with my body. I’m implementing some new stress-management stuff (which includes only being online a couple of times a week). And, right around this time yesterday, at my doctor’s office, I gave myself my first insulin injection.

There was a time, not long ago, I saw having to go on insulin as a failure and a judgment, not to mention “the beginning of the end.” Now, I can’t describe the happiness I felt as I watched that needle go in, surrendering to the need for some assistance, admitting that I can’t control everything. Accepting what I can’t change. Courage in changing what I can. (It didn’t hurt, by the way, and it worked like magic to bring my blood sugar exactly where I wanted it. But it did take courage.)

Maybe for you it’s something else. Quitting a “harmless” substance that other people can handle but you can’t. Starting antidepressants when you can’t self-talk your way out of despair anymore. Telling a boss or spouse that you’re at your limit. Pushing a book deadline out of insanity and into reality. Letting go of a relationship that’s bringing out your worst.

It’s okay to not be perfect, or to admit that there’s a gap between your best and what’s ideal. After the initial freakout, it’s very freeing to recognize and accept limitations, and then figure out how to move forward from there.

This, obviously, applies to writing as much as in any other area. Making this draft the best you can. Accepting the gap between your abilities and the ideal. Always striving to close it, of course, but knowing that even if you can’t right now, it’s still worth doing. You’re getting closer every time.

I’ve been wanting to attend this conference ever since I first heard about it years ago, and now I get to go as a speaker. Yeehaw! It’s not too late to sign up. But it will be tomorrow.

Allow me to drop but a few names of other speakers to tempt you: Avi, Scott Cairns, Debbie Blue (oh my golly, fangirling right now, didn’t notice she was coming before and I LOVE HER), Sharon Flake, Joshilyn Jackson, Mary Karr, Rhoda Janzen, Wally Lamb (!!), Gene Yang…oh I could go on and on and on. And of course! My panelmates Jenny Han and Donna Freitas.

The conference web site has everything you need to know

I will, at various times, be doing the following:

Reading (Thursday, 10: 30 a.m.)

Lunchtime forum with other Jesus Girls authors (Friday, 12:45 p.m.)

Solo talk: “Young Adult Fiction and the Stewardship of Pain” (Friday, 2 p.m.)

Signing (Friday, 3 p.m.)

Panel with Jenny Han and Donna Freitas: “Are You There, God? It’s Me, the American Teenager: Faith, Doubt, and Redemption in Young Adult Fiction” (Friday, 3:30 p.m.)

Full Festival Schedule

And now – I’m away from my blog for a few weeks. Spring breaking, finishing up a book, and then off to the Fest. Please do let me know if you’re planning to go and maybe we can find a way to say hello. Until then!

(P.S. – I have a new post at Teen Fiction Cafe for Food Week, celebrating recognizing one year with diabetes.)

Fun facts about Canada! Or maybe not so much facts as bits of information I picked up during my visit of very limited scope and duration…

1. What we call stocking caps are called “tubes” in Canada. I learned this when we took our cruise on Lake Minnewanka and it was so cold and windy that I needed to purchase a hat from the shop at the boat dock. I said, “Do you have any stocking caps?” “No, just what’s in the box. The baseball caps and the tubes.” EDIT! In the comments, Shari says, our stocking caps are actually “toques” (sounds like “tukes”). Quiller over on LJ also said it, and Wikipedia says it, so now I know it’s true. Toque/tuque, not tube. See, this is how rumors gets started and misinformation is spread, like a game of telephone! Here I am in my toque:

2. As in the south here, iced tea in Canada is by default sweetened. In fact, I could not find a restaurant with unsweetened iced tea. That was sad, because I don’t drink soda and unsweetened iced tea is my drink of choice when out.

3. There is a food item I was told again and again to try while I was in Canada: poutine. Which is a really fancy-sounding name for fries smothered in all manner of gravies and toppings. As much as I love fries, I have to admit it didn’t appeal. Gravy is not a favorite. Maybe next time. Convince me!

4. Speaking of food items, I almost fell over when in the Calgary airport shops what did I spy with my little eye but the legendary Kit Kat Dark. It’s been legendary to me, anyway, ever since reading Steve Almond’s wonderful book Candyfreak. He scored a case somewhere along the way while researching and became obsessed. I was restrained and only bought two, along with a bag of 70% cocoa M&Ms. Dark chocolate treats and my diabetes get along really well. I may have to move to Canada for health reasons.

5. Noticeable differences in restaurants there vs. here, other than the iced tea thing: They do not obsessively keep your water glass filled, and in fact may let you run dry for a long time. They do not rush you out by giving you the check five minutes after serving your food. We had to ask for it every time in every place, after sitting for long periods after a meal. Which was fine. What’s the hurry, anyway? And they call it the bill, not the check. Canadian readers: am I making sweeping assumptions based on limited experience? If you haven’t dined in the states, there is a total compulsion with topping off water. I noticed in general Canada (at least in Calgary and Banff) seemed greener–recycling bins in hotel rooms, dual flush toilets, etc.—so maybe the water thing is part of that.

Okay, have a good weekend!

Is it Wednesday already? Lordie. I’ve been super absorbed in my office project, and some other stuff. Like shopping. (PSA: Ladies, you are going to want to go to the Gap soonish before they are all out of their summer-weight cardigans, which come in the best colors I’ve seen in many-a-season. Also, adorable tank dresses with ballerina skirts AND POCKETS.)

I’m not sure how I even stumbled upon this Real Food Wednesdays thing, but I did, and since my brain is overly taxed by my slow-but-steady process of throwing crap away, I will take the writing prompt and post about fantastic whole wheat cinnamon waffles. I found the recipe on a cooking blog I like, long before The Diabetes. I love dense, whole-grainy, low sugar things like that, and got in the habit of always having a batch in the freezer, and used them (by the half – very filling) for peanut butter toast, as a snack with cheese, even under tuna salad. Oh, and also the regular waffle way.

When I was diagnosed, one of my first thoughts was, “I can’t have my waffles any more!”  The fact that I was worried about that rather than going blind or my feet falling off tells you something about what food means to me. But guess what? These waffles are so brilliant, they do not give my blood sugar a spike. I nearly wept when I discovered this. Of course I can’t eat them with syrup anymore, but love them with pb or butter and fruit-only jam along with a couple of eggs. They are full of stuff that is good for you, and very sustaining. Also, there’s lots of cinnamon in them, which allegedly does nice things for blood sugar.

Here is the recipe.

(I usually use 1 3/4 cup buttermilk rather than the yogurt + milk combo.)

1. The story of the Story of a Girl cover is now up on Melissa Walker’s blog for her Cover Story series. Witness the original photo and how it has been used since! Leave a comment and perhaps win a copy of Sweethearts!

2. Yesterday while driving my application for the screenwriting workshop over to the film society office, I realized that I really did not want to set up another deadline situation in my life right now, and as part of the workshop involves completing a screenplay that would be exactly what I was doing. So I drove back home and tossed the app. Maybe next year. I am, however, going to rock that clarinet like nobody’s business. Maybe I will even find the arrangement of Foreigner’s “Hot Blooded” that my sixth grade band teacher did…

3. How much did I love last night’s 30 Rock? This much. (I’m holding my arms far, far apart.) A Sims reference, a Johnny Ray reference, a Rob Base reference, a shout out to underappreciated writers, and Alan Alda, all rolled into one. For me, 30 Rock is the first and only comedy since the Simpsons that completely clicks with my sense of humor and the funny comes so fast that you hardly have time to appreciate each joke. Love.

4. I am also into Southland. Or I should say, we are into Southland, which makes me happy, because G. and I haven’t had a favorite show to watch together since losing interest in House awhile back, Hugh Laurie’s hotness notwithstanding.

5. Neither dark chocolate nor peanut M&Ms raise my blood sugar into bad ranges. Please join me in a chorus of hallelujahs, then go have yourself a good weekend!