Today is the official official release day for Sweethearts, which feels a teeny bit anticlimactic because it’s actually been in many stores for a couple of weeks, but I think release days are always anticlimactic unless you are J.K. or Stephenie. Nonetheless, I am an extremely happy and grateful camper. After my appearance on Mountain Views last night with host extraordinaire Ori Hoffer (you can still see it at parkcity.tv by going to “watch now” and then choosing Mountain Views from the right hand menu, I think), I drove back home to SLC from Park City in a snowstorm, in the dark, and the roads had not been plowed AT ALL, and at one point I lost control of the car and spun around twice on an onramp landing harmlessly against a bank of snow (“harmlessly” for my body and car, not so harmlessly for my mental state). I got back on the road because I knew from reports it was only going to get worse if I waited. I then proceeded to white knuckle it through the pass and over the summit, going about 15 miles per hour and talking to God the whole way, terrified. And I thought about why I was so frightened. I was not scared of dying because a) at 15 mph with hardly anyone on the road and equipped with a bunch of bananas, my cell phone, and a down coat I was not likely to die, and b) I’m not really scared of death. (I’m scared of the pain of death, but that’s different.)

What is so very frightening about driving in snow and ice is loss of control—actual loss of control, or the awareness that you only have a very tentative grasp on control. As a certifiable control freak, that is pretty much my worse nightmare. I had time for lots of philosophical thoughts about this as I crept along trying to stay in the ruts of the truck in front of me. If, theologically speaking, I believe we aren’t really in control anyway, why am I not this terrified all the time? One way to look at it is that treacherous road conditions are only an external manifestation of what is always true, though normally the illusion of control is easier to hang onto. So what does that mean for how I should cope with future terrifying conditions, and for my regular non-terrifying daily life? Something to chew on. Also: next time, I’m going to seek out a bus or pay someone to drive so that I can put the seat back, cover my eyes, and weep silently.

Hey! I am interviewed over on Shelf Elf today! Read all about my thoughts on transformation, and get an inside look at my to-do list. Thanks, Kerry, for a great interview.

Hope to see some of you tonight at 7 p.m. at the King’s English – 1500 S. / 1500 E.  But don’t feel bad if all you want to do is stay in with a bowl of soup and your slippers! Trust me, I understand.