I dreamed about Craig Ferguson last night. He was going to my church, and my friend Laura gave him a pint of apricot brandy on which she had written, “To sire, will love,” which Craig and I both thought was pretty funny. We share a sense of humor, you know. She didn’t know that Craig’s a recovering alcoholic, see, but I did. So Craig gave the booze to me for safekeeping. Then we went on a bunch of errands and I saw his paycheck from CBS and he only made 33K a year hosting the Late Late Show. We had a deep discussion about something or other, and then he gave me a hug and I woke up to the sound of my sister-in-law snoring in the couch.

Me & Craig