Until last night’s episode of America’s Next Top Model, I did not know that hair weaving was actually a science. TV is educational.

*****

I had my dental appointment yesterday, my first one in eight or possibly ten years. There was much anxiety and wailing and gnashing of—never mind. The point is I was nervous. The receptionist and hygienists all seemed to be recently-arrived Eastern European women, which only caused one minor communication issue. The hygienist (who I kept calling Svetlana in my head) asked, “Do you have any feelings in your mouth?”

“Like pain? I don’t have any pain…”

“Not pain. Feelings.”

“I mean, I have sensation in my mouth. The usual.”

“Feelings. Feelings. Do you know what means this, feelings?”

“Um, I guess not.”

I finally realized she was saying fillings. Fillings. Duh. And you know what’s hilarious? I found out at the end that her name really was Svetlana. Anyway, the dentist was extremely gentle and not icky, and didn’t try to make small talk (thank you), and everyone in the office was impressed and shocked that after ten years of neglect, I had only one cavity and no other problems. It is my first cavity ever. Yay for good genes.

*****

At lunch on Wednesday, the Urban Princess pulled out a little contraption that allowed her to hang her purse on the table. I should mention here that she names her purses. Her explanation for the hook was, “So Daphne doesn’t have to sit on the floor.” Now I want one, because frankly I never know what to do with my purse at restaurants.