Whatever the thing in me that enjoys writing and reading blogs and otherwise engaging online is, it’s on the blink lately. Should I blame the new Facebook interface? Perhaps. Or maybe the spring weather. Also I’ve got some stuff going on personally that has changed my perspective. Having to do with mortality; see, awareness & ownership of. I’ve been staring into space a lot during the last five days. And reading Thomas Merton, who writes about “the betrayal of our deep self that sometimes takes place in our effort to communicate with others exteriorly.” He says “it’s not easy for a writer to learn to live, interiorly, without a witness, without a potential reader. But once this intruder is expelled, we truly find ourselves, and find God—and find other men in God. We betray ourselves and one another in the No Man’s Land which exists between human beings, and into which they go out to meet one another disguised in words.”
I think that very well sums up…well, a lot. The basic difficulty in relationships and connections and interactions, even with ousrelves. I mean even private journaling is limited, because once you become involved with words you fall short. It’s a basic problem of humanity, and a basic problem for writers. Words, the only tools we have, always betray the pure vision. It’s also interesting to think about in terms of blogs and social networking and how language can disguise us there. Merton goes on to say ”and yet without words we cannot find ourselves, without communication with men we do not know God.” Well, hell. It’s that old, fundamental tension again of both longing and fearing being known, and I find myself easily lost in that tug-of-war.
I finally saw Man on Wire. If you haven’t yet, you really need to. Though the 9/11 attacks are never mentioned in the movie, they are there. As you watch Philippe & co planning his high-wire walk between the twin towers, you can’t help but think about their ultimate fate, and the two opposite results of diligence and passion and precision, the stark contrast between beauty and destruction. It’s not just superheros who have to decide if they’re going to use their powers for good or for evil.
10 comments for this post
I really like your Merton quote, which reminds me of the way Virginia Woolf writes about the “privacy of the soul” and how we are a little like fish, who come to the surface every so often, but retreat beneath it in solitude a good deal of the time.
Loved Man on a Wire. Love that you read Merton. Thanks for making me smarter today, Sara.
xo
Those Merton quotes are going to make me think all day.
I also really enjoyed Man on Wire. I knew some of Petit’s story prior to seeing the film, but I thought it was interesting to see him there reminiscing so enthusiastically, when everyone else involved had a really different take on the thing. It seemed to destroy a lot of relationships in his life, just kind of left this wake of sadness and anger and resentment–even though they all acknowledged how beautiful it was. Like Merton, it made me think a lot.
i just finsihed sweethearts, its a really amazing book and i luv it so much…oh and to be honest i didn’t read ur blog today (or any other day)…buuuuuut i just really wanted to tell you tht ur probably my favorite author whos ALIVE! but take tht as a compliment…plz
~CS
I thought Man on Wire was going to be awful, but it really was fascinating. And for people with a fear of heights, like myself, it was terrifying to imagine being so high with nothing to protect me. But, it was amazing nonetheless.
Man on Wire was sensational. Even though I knew he lived (obviously
, there were still moments I couldn’t breathe. He’s a great story teller. I like that moment seemed to be such a defining moment for him and his friends. And when they asked him “why” and he said, “there is no why”, I got goose bumps. I wasn’t happy with the part where he cheated on his girlfriend (what the heck?!). It was sad to see his life unravel too. But the film still made me want to go do something brave. I think anybody crazy enough to pursue a dream that seems impossible would love it. I also like your Merton quote. It’s crazy how words can make me feel bound and boundless at the same time. Words as a “disguise” is an awesome image.
Not sure if your Merton reflections are making we want to write or take the rest of the day off.
Recently watched Man on Wire myself. What happened to those friendships? After such a dramatic event they all went their separate ways – there’s another untold story there, me thinks.
Yes, the loss of his relationships was definitely a sad note. It makes sense to me, though…him getting swept up in the fame of the event and not recognizing the toll it had taken on his friends to help/watch him do that. Selfishness seems a part of genius, often.
C – thank you, I do take it as a compliment!
“face off” (Merton’s desire)
ah! to have some time for me,
simple peace and unplugged life,
yet the keyboard ever lures,
give them more of who I are!
here the places I have been,
special reader, you will find;
come and catch me if you can,
so retiring as I am.
watch me pirouette and spin
out beyond your reaching grasp
yet within your hungered sight,
am’t I beautiful tonight?
thanks for sharing that, Bill, love it